Violence against children (VAC) and exploitation, including child marriage, is widely practised in Bangladesh as reported by the UN children's agency UNICEF. VAC refers to physical, emotional, sexual abuse, and neglect in childhood (0-17 years) which negatively impact the wellbeing of children. The abuse occurs at the home, the workplace, in the educational settings and in the community. Unfortunately, parents or family members are behind most incidents of child abuse, either on purpose or unintentionally. Apparently, this crime is often overlooked as children are the most powerless and vulnerable group. Many parents and household members have very limited knowledge about child abuse and its impact on children's physical, emotional, cognitive, educational and social development. Even many adults do not have the understanding of emotional abuse and neglect, as these forms of abuse are sometimes contextual. For example, child marriage that involves all forms of child abuse such as emotional, neglect, sexual and physical seriously harms the development and wellbeing of girls through mistreatment, gender-based violence, exploitation and social exclusion.
According to UNICEF, despite the efforts and interventions by the government and the child rights organisations, Bangladesh ranks 10th in the world for child marriage. For example, according to the Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey (MICS) in 2019 by the UNICEF and the Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics, 51.4 percent of women got married before the age of 18 and 15.5 percent under the age of 15. The COVID-19 pandemic has made the situation worse. For example, 13,886 child marriages have been reported from 20,575 respondents in a recent survey conducted by Manusher Jonno Foundation (MJF). Poverty, a lack of social security and sexual harassment are recognised as the main reasons behind child marriage. Since the pandemic began, a few other factors have been contributing to this harmful practice, such as school closure and the return of migrant workers who are seeking to marry now.
However, I think the root causes of child marriage are deeper and they are overlooked. In my opinion, the causes are violent parenting and the lack of a good parent-child relationship. I believe, apart from the current interventions, enhancing parent-child bonding can play a vital role to prevent child marriage.
In relation to cultural norms, beliefs and practices, many children are subject to harsh discipline and verbal aggression in which girls are the worst affected group. Data gathered by the BSS and the UNICEF in 2019 indicates that nearly 35% of women in Bangladesh support physical punishment to raise or educate a child. Most girls are parented with harsh and gender-based discipline in the patriarchal society of Bangladesh; their lives appear to have only one aim – to please their parents. Usually, girls are not allowed to spend time out of school. They are not allowed to play or socialise with boys, not even make eye contact with boys. This constrains the development of emotional intelligence that makes them passive. Consequently, these girls are often unable to stand up for themselves and against early marriage. Another aspect is girls are brought up as brides; from early childhood, they are given the message that girls should behave in a certain way to become better brides. As a result, these girls develop their vision around marriage and potential husbands instead of career aspiration. So when the early marriage is organised that does not come as a surprise to most of them. The cultural norm in South Asian countries is – parents are always right. This attitude often leads to abuse against children and as a result, those children grow up with low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and poor social competence. Parents or caregivers using harsh discipline strategies are less likely supportive, affectionate and responsive to their children's needs.
In underprivileged families and rural areas, the common phenomenon is to marry off girls and prioritise boys' education. This is how gender discrimination starts at home and builds up resentments among many girls but they are unable to challenge it at that young age. Discrimination, manipulation and harsh discipline cause some girls to escape from the situation by getting married as early as possible without considering the long term consequences of it. This is something I have discovered by working with British Bangladeshi young parents in London. This may apply to Bangladeshi girls as well. Besides, during adolescence, humans function the most emotionally than any other period of development as many changes happen during the teenage years which are interconnected. For example, physical, emotional, sexual and social changes occur in this stage of life. At this age, attraction toward the opposite gender is very natural but in terms of cultural and religious values, intimacy before marriage is highly restricted in society. This pushes some young women out of the zone who may wish to marry their boyfriend. Often most parents are also in a rush to marry their daughters off when they are in a romantic relationship. However, in such a situation, early marriage can be prevented if there is better parent-child bonding in place and the parents know how to guide their daughter to make healthy, responsible and value-based decisions about sex and relationships.
Violence against children, including child marriage, and its devastating consequences negatively impact people throughout their lifespan. Whereas, a happy and positive parent-child relationship can be helpful in achieving better outcomes for children by developing their self-esteem and confidence, regardless of their gender. Better parent-child bonding means parents are more responsible with empathy towards their children that provide the children with a feeling of love, trust and security. Therefore, parental education should be included in current interventions to protect children from abuse and exploitation, including child marriage.