Liar, lunatic and the US elections!

They say there has never been an election campaign quite like this ever. This means, we have not seen mudslinging of this magnitude in the recent past. The avalanche of vitriol has only made the pre-election atmosphere more charged up. A BBC report called the run up to the US election to having all the ingredients of a Bollywood potboiler.

Indeed, so many twists: sex, emails, hidden physical ailments, xenophobic declarations and, of course, the face to face debate where one candidate smiled at each other clinically, falling short of saying: why don't you die?

If Obama came with the promise 'yes we can' then, this time, maybe the slogan to sum up the animosity can be 'bite till the end'.

It has been vicious, no one will deny it. The façade of gentle but firm argument, overtaken by violent outbursts topped by vulgar observations.

Reportedly, a lot are of the belief that this time, both the candidates are utterly flawed – one is a zealot while the other is a master of deception.

Trump is certainly not popular outside the US; for commemorating the November 5 Guy Fawkes day, an effigy of Trump was burnt in London – a sign that his venom-filled, rather callous remarks about immigration and women did not charm people across the Atlantic.

Remember remember, the fifth of November; When we burnt Trump to cinder…can be a new version of the age old Gunpowder plot poem.

The thing is, Trump's comments on women simply portrayed the other sex as mere commodities. Wait, Bill Clinton in his time as president was caught with his pants down with Monica Lewinsky, but then Clinton survived because he had that irresistible JFK charm.

Women carried on loving him after the moral transgression. You just could not resist that southern accent.

And of course, Clinton had another powerful asset – he was still young and a subject of admiration for women across the globe.

On the other hand, here we have Donald, who is not young anymore but with a raging penchant for the opposite sex.

The world loves young playboys, they abhor grizzled lechers!

As for Hillary, well, her star sign is Scorpio, which means, she thrives on shenanigans and enigma. Reportedly, those who hate her, do so with all their heart because they believe her to be a smooth talker hiding too many skeletons in the cupboard.

Anyway, this much we all know; the question now all over the globe, even in India where cricket is always top: who will win?

Well, I would bet on Hillary for certain reasons: first, USA has never had a woman president and since Obama has already become the first African American premier, there is a chance that the voters may want to achieve another milestone.

Women voters may feel that having a female president sends a message of a glass ceilings being shattered, and opt for Hillary.

While others, feeling envious, may decide to reject her outright!

Looking at both angles, I will go for the former option.

If large number of women give the green signal to Hillary then this is the person we are looking at.

However, the xenophobia stirred up by Donald cannot be ignored either because, latently, a lot of Americans probably feel this guy's tough stance is what we need.

Trump has had a few embarrassing moments with the leaked video where he was seen to be making sexist comments about women.

Locker room talk, he shouted, while the world seemed a little disgusted.

And then, he sounded more like a developing nation politician when he said: I will accept the election result only if I win.

What! Look at his family tree. Somewhere back the line there must have been a Bengali…

Oh well, there is no denying that Donald surely added some colour to the whole pre-election wrangling.

If anyone asked me to find a celluloid counterpart of Trump, I would say, Gordon Gekko, the rapacious, scheming, straight-talking corporate shark in the 1987 film, Wall Street.

You hate what he does but somewhere in you there is an admiration. Vice always has verve.

Do I hate Trump? Well, he is forthright, which I like but as president…

The crucial question, how will the outcome impact Bangladesh?

I would say, whoever comes, the policy towards us will remain fairly unchanged.

The other day, someone asked me: brother, if Trump is elected will the process of getting a visa become more complicated?

Well, I personally don't think so; the system is strict as it is. A US visa is still elusive for many.

For argument's sake, let's assume Trump has lost, what then?

This guy will need some serious rehabilitation, I tell you. Perhaps a few days at the Playboy mansion…

And, if Hillary loses, well, she can go back to being the wife who digested the rather deviant predilections of her husband with a White House intern.

About the Bollywood twists and turns: won't be bad if someone makes a film: Kaun Banega President!

Er, one more thing…who will dance in the item number?