The 2012 US World Cup explained (?)

Once every four years, former British colonies compete to determine who will gain dominance in one of the most democratically unifying competitions on the planet: The World Cup of Cricket. Every individual has his or her favourite team, and today's heroes can be tomorrow's goats. The competition has its rules and customs, some of which are very difficult for outsiders to understand. Yet, as this newcomer found out, the more one learns about the sport, the more one can enjoy the spectacle.

Once every four years, The United States, yet another former British colony has its own competition to determine who will gain dominance in one of the most democratically divisive contests on the planet: The US Presidential elections. Unlike cricket, only two teams really qualify for the competition. Just as in cricket, today's heroes can be tomorrow's goats. And, although the rules and traditions governing the American elections make cricket's seem simple in comparison, perhaps I can return that my Bangladeshi friends extended to me in explaining the rules of your sport, and allow me to explain the rules Presidential election, since, believe it or not, in little under a year we will choose the man (or woman) who will govern our country for the next four years.

For those of you who live on the moon, or who have had an American education, let me explain some fundamentals: America is a two-party Federal system, with each state given proportional, and equal representation. If it were not for this equal representation, voters in Florida, California and New York would always choose the President, thus rendering any decisions made in favour of the rest of the country politically dangerous.

The two parties in the United States are the Republicans and the Democrats. Both parties agree on one thing: That any bid for a third party must be crushed at all cost, and thus both have shown wonderful bipartisan cooperation to ensure that no third party is ever elected.

In the old Soviet Union, and in most of China, laws exist ensuring that one party is continually dominant. In the current state of New Jersey, laws exist ensuring that if anyone wants to register for a particular political party, they must register as either a Democrat or a Republican. No other political party is officially registered in my home state. Because we are a representative form of government, we have exactly one more choice than most Communist countries do.

New York is way more dangerously democratic, allowing third, fourth and even fifth parties to register willy-nilly. On my Politbureocratic side of the Hudson River, which divides New York and New Jersey, you can register only as a Republican or a Democrat. Otherwise, you're categorised as an independent, with a lowercase i. On the other side of the Hudson, in Manhattan, you can even be a proud member of the "My Rent is too Damn High" Party. The national media ignores third party candidates unless they have the billions to pay for their own advertising. In that case, the networks accept the money, run the third party commercials and allow straight-faced pundits on both the Slightly-to-the-Left and Slightly-to-the-Right to tell America that to vote for a third party candidate is not viable.

In an episode of the popular TV cartoon, The Simpsons, the character Homer unmasks candidates Bob Dole and Bill Clinton as two space aliens in disguise. The aliens ask what America going to do about it. One bystander shouts "Then I'll vote for a third party candidate!" To which one alien replies, "Go ahead, throw away your vote!"

In this presidential season, unforeseen demise aside, the Democratic candidate for President will be Barack Obama. If elected, he will be a "lame duck President", meaning an officeholder who, according to a 1951 amendment to the Constitution (the 22nd) cannot be re-elected.

So, we already know which one of the two teams will compete in the American "World Cup" of 2012, which makes this more like a boxing match. The challenger who will face Obama must go through a series of Herculean trials.

The first of these trials was completed long ago, perhaps as early as April of 2012, when the frontrunner and professional candidate, Mitt Romney, began raising money for his presidential bid. To date, Romney is winning the Republican fundraising race, having accrued approximately 33 million dollars of campaign contributions, most from big money donors, special interest Political Action Committee members and the like.

In comparison, grassroots Republican Ron Paul has raised only 8.3 million, with large amounts coming from donors pledging $200 or less, a clear indication of loyalty among less privileged voters who understand and believe in Mr. Paul's Libertarian (That government which governs least, governs best) philosophy, and his pledge to charge those who abused their banking powers with treason. Mr. Paul is largely ignored by the press, despite his political courage on many issues, and was the only candidate at the recent Republican debates that was denied a closing statement. The second trial was a series of debates, in which entrepreneur Herman Cain emerged victorious.

This sets the stage for the final trial. In 2012, state primaries will determine who will become the Republican contender for the US Presidency.

Some states follow a "primary" system, which is an extra chance for registered Republicans to vote in something identical to an election. The other, more entertaining form of primary vote is a caucus. In every voting precinct in a Caucus state, on election night, registered voters meet at officially designated schools, churches, libraries and even private homes. Candidates listen to short speeches by backers of all candidates, and then are given a blank piece of paper on which to write down the name of the candidate they support. In other caucus states, voters arrive at a set time, and are grouped into a large room according to the candidate they support.

The object of the group caucus is to convince as many people as possible to come to your candidate's side of the room. At a certain hour, the number of candidates is counted. The outcome (sometimes) determines how many friendly delegates a candidate can send to the national convention on August 27, 2012 in Tampa, Florida. Like the World Cup, the venue changes every four years, and the host city is expected to put on a spectacular show.

The first contest is always the Iowa caucus. For those of you who don't know, Iowa is one of the 50 states. It needs to be the first caucus state otherwise none of us here in the US would know Iowa even exists, since it is ignored by everyone who is not a tornado or an ear of corn.

In Iowa, caucus-goers select district convention delegates, who elect the state convention delegates who cast their votes at the national convention. Iowa delegates account for one percent of the national convention vote. In other words, the Iowa caucus is an important news event that determines absolutely nothing. This contest is followed by the New Hampshire Republican Primaries, in which 20 of the 23 delegates to the convention are chosen. The other three delegates are the New Hampshire party leaders. Because these are the first contests, the New Hampshire Primary and the Iowa caucus are economic booms to their respective states, featuring a flurry of baby-kissing candidates, who will never be seen again, wearing overalls and ill-fitting John Deere baseball caps.

Some states want to steal Iowa's thunder (and very few of its other natural disasters). Florida, for instance, moved its primary to January 31. Florida's primary will still send more delegates to the National Convention than Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina (the next state in the primaries) combined, and will be a make-or-break state on the road to the nomination, where the winner gets to control all the state delegates. From February until the first week of March, 13 states and three territories hold elections, mostly conventions and caucuses, to determine their slate of delegates. Finally, the first Tuesday of March (the sixth) arrives.

This day is called "Super Tuesday" and the winner here may already have enough impetus to project him to the nomination. On that day, the following races are decided:

Alaska (caucus)

Georgia (primary)

Idaho (caucus)

Massachusetts (primary)

North Dakota (caucus)

Oklahoma (primary)

Tennessee (primary)

Texas (primary)

Vermont (primary)

Virginia (primary)

That is also the day that the Wyoming Caucus begins. Now, I'm not making this up. The caucus goes on for FOUR DAYS- because that's calving season.

Yes. I'm serious.

I like Wyoming. It has its priorities straight. Deliver the baby cows and bulls, then ride your horse to the saloon, get real drunk and caucus like heck for four days. Hey, it's Wyoming! Chances are the caucus is the only chance you'll get to see another living creature that doesn't have horns or an udder until 2016.

More primaries follow. Then, on April 24, on a mini Super Tuesday, Connecticut, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and Delaware all hold primaries. By then, many of the candidates are out of money, and the field has narrowed. If the outcome is still in doubt, June primaries include New Jersey and California.

Because they did not agree to follow Republican national rules for one reason or another, several states will lose half their delegates to the convention. These states are: New Hampshire, South Carolina, Florida, Arizona, and Michigan, Iowa, Colorado, Maine and Minnesota.

This week is election week in the US, with nothing at all interesting happening this year on a national level. Next year is the big show, and next week, I'm going to tell you what's in store for the US Presidential race, explain the Electoral College and let you know why this may be the wildest primary season yet. Who's going to come out on top? Stay tuned, Bangladesh!

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Frank Domenico Cipriani writes a weekly column in the Riverside Signal called "You Think What You Think And I'll Think What I Know." He is also the founder and CEO of The Gatherer Institute — a not-for-profit public charity dedicated to promoting respect for the promoting respect for the environment and empowering individuals to become self-taught and self-sufficient. His most recent book, "Learning Little Hawk's Way of Storytelling", teaches the native art of oral tradition storytelling.