Cricket and politics in Bangladesh: the uninformed American weighs in

I preface with an apology. I have broken a cardinal rule: I am writing on a subject about which I know so little, that I should have no legitimate opinion. I'm writing about cricket and current events in Bangladesh, two things that completely confuse me. So I beg your forgiveness if this outsider's view seems simpleminded or offensive. I may have said this before, but the more I learn about Bangladesh, the more I admire your people. Again and again, you have triumphed in the face of something beyond adversity. I hope we can both survive our nation's politics. 'Til then, time, tide, politics and the Asian Games wait for no man.

Cricket. I don't get it, but congratulations, Tigers!

Sport defines a nation. So what do sports tell us about Americans?

Nothing you might not already know. The object of our American baseball is to launch a projectile as far as possible from the home base, to arrive at other bases by many different means, including "stealing bases", "sacrifices", and "hit and run". Unlike cricket, a baseball player can be "gunned out" or "picked off" on any base, without scoring a point. The value that baseball teaches is that you are never truly safe except when you're home, but in order to win, you must have ventured away. It explains why we are so bad at foreign policy; we only score after we've come home.

America, as a nation, had two runners on base when Obama came up to bat. With the troop withdrawal in Iraq, he drove in one run, but I would say the run crossed home plate while Obama was grounding out. Now we have one out (an out is bad, three outs end an inning), and a runner in Afghanistan, and this is one of those slow, chubby runners, one who, even at a full tilt, will not arrive at home, panting and wheezing, before 2014. The opposing pitcher is the American economy.

Now understand that the pitcher's job is to throw the ball in a way where it will be delivered accurately, but where the batter will be unable to hit it. We have no wicket to break, just an umpire who tells the batter whether the pitch (which means the throw, not the field of play) is a "strike" or not. The economy, standing on the pitcher's mound, struck out the last batter, George Bush. Now it seeks to do the same to Obama. Economy bears down. Here's the throw…

Meanwhile, 180 degrees away on the ball we know as the Earth, a game of cricket is taking place. I imagine it is a game where the job is to deflect the incoming ball, protect a fragile structure from being knocked down, and then to run back and forth as many times as possible. To me, it is sort of like trying to reach a customer service complaint department during the holiday rush. I mean, imagine you're the bowler. Here comes the ball. Someone on the other end deflects your call, and passes your phone call off to another department. While that individual has escaped to somewhere else, you attempt to track down an answer, while personnel move back and forth avoiding your question until you finally break the connection. This back-and forth can go on for a long time. Having now had to deal with the UK taxation office, since my upcoming book is being published in Scotland, I have played a form of long distance cricket, and have done very badly. Visually, I like the game. Cricket is fun to watch, and though I understood nothing, I was rooting for Bangladesh all the way. But I can imagine that cricket was invented and thrives in nations with higher tolerance for bureaucratic intervention than my own. Still, I think I'd actually like to play cricket some day. I will put it on my list of things I want to do when I visit Bangladesh.

Some sports are designed purely to satisfy a spectator's bloodlust. Spain has bullfighting, Britain has soccer, and the US has NASCAR. NASCAR, to my mind, is the most ridiculous "sport" of all time. Cars race for 500 miles on an oval track. A die-hard NASCAR fan will deny it, but I know the truth: people watch purely for the crashes. Bullfighting is self-explanatory. The crowd wants to see the freak occurrence, the matador being speared and tossed into the front row of swooning Donacellas. The sport could be called Drama Queen Butchers in Tights. And then there's soccer. It hasn't caught on in the US, because here, soccer fans don't fight. I am convinced that this is the main attraction in soccer. None of the real action is on the field, it's in the stands. I've lived in Argentina, I know. High metal fences, mounted police in riot gear to keep the opposing fans apart, roving bands of toughies who will beat you up if you're wearing the wrong team colours; this is the high drama of soccer. Ice hockey falls into this category as well, except that the fighting is on the ice, not in the stands. The fans are just too drunk to fight.

Then there's American football, our real National Pastime. American football really is America, in every aspect, good and bad. It is a spectacle. If any of you ever visit America between the months of September and November, you will have the opportunity to truly understand what America is all about by visiting a high school football game. You'll experience the energy of thousands of kids in the seats, cheerleaders on the sidelines, bands, flag teams, and lots and lots of delicious food designed to make you fat. T-shirt giveaways, school colours, mascots, announcers, it's all there. Meanwhile, the offence attempts to penetrate into enemy territory, throwing bombs, averting blitzes, while the offensive coordinators attempt to drive the ball downfield toward the end zone, thus scoring a touchdown. At our local high school, when a touchdown is scored, the mascot rings a half-scale model of the Liberty Bell. A wigwam built close to the field releases smoke, and the cheerleaders form a human pyramid. And that's just high school.

No less fascinating is the game of politics as a spectator sport. As a new spectator of your national politics, I understand even less about Bangladeshi affairs than I do about cricket. I guess your former prime pinister has been "bowled" by the ruling party, and as a result, The BNP is organising a "hartal", a term I had never heard before this week. Now what I don't understand is how the BNP can organise a strike, or who in the workforce will be supporting this strike, unless strikes in Bangladesh are like they were in Argentina, with everyone, regardless of political opinion, just wanting a free day off. I mean, will people who voted for the AL strike as well?

I can't help thinking what I would have done if I were Khaleda Zia. I think I would have used the eviction to champion the causes of my people. I would have said, "Now I truly understand what millions of my fellow countrymen have suffered over the years — the loss of their home. At least God has blessed me with the resources to recover. How many of our people face this immeasurable hardship without appropriate resources? How many others, through the ravages of natural disaster have lost absolutely everything? I thank the AL for this call to action, which has opened my eyes to the higher mission of politics, to disagree, of course, but not to let any process impede every citizen from becoming all he is capable of being. Let my misfortune be a blessing for my people. With God's help, we will embark on a cooperative effort with the goal of putting roofs over the heads of every man, woman and child in our great nation. I call upon all parties to redouble their efforts in this great cause. These tears I shed are tears of empathy as well."

In Hungarian, we say, "Hand washes hand." The stance would be the moral high ground, but it would also make excellent political sense. After all, when someone tries to break your wicket, shouldn't you try to hit for six? Did I say that right?

Our own Jimmy Carter, who was a better peanut farmer than he was a president, is now considered the best ex-president of all time simply because after his defeat, he picked up a hammer and started building homes for the poor. He is now more revered than he ever was as our ill-equipped president with the big, toothy smile. Maybe on Tuesday, if you guys aren't working anyway, you could swing a hammer for the homeless. That's a cause both parties could stand behind.

I shun NASCAR because it is just a matter of people driving loud flashy cars as fast as they can, in endless circles, using up resources, while the people in the stands hope for accidents. I don't like spectator sports that seek to entertain by offering the possibility of tragedy. I prefer to be uplifted. Unfortunately, in my own country, politics has become just like NASCAR, a game of driving around in loud circles, hoping that the opposition crashes and burns. It is democracy at its worst. I hope my people and the people of Bangladesh elect politicians, regardless of political affiliation, who aspire to move forward toward a higher good. In the meantime, victorious Bangladesh prepares for the World Cup. I hope to learn to sing 'Amra Korbo Joy', not just for the Tigers, but for both our nations.

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Frank Domenico Cipriani writes a weekly column in the Riverside Signal called "You Think What You Think And I'll Think What I Know." He is also the founder and CEO of The Gatherer Institute — a not-for-profit public charity dedicated to promoting respect for the environment and empowering individuals to become self-taught and self-sufficient.