The first ‘unmanly’ man in Kalikot

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to talk with Daal Singh Kumal from Seepkhana village in Kalikot district. As the producer of the radio program 'Jiwan Ka Lagi Swasthey' (Health for Life), I was in search of health-related issues and success stories in the 14 program districts of the Health for Life project. After hearing about an interesting story from Namaraj Yogi, a local journalist from Kalikot, I was interested in talking more with Mr. Kumal.

Mr. Kumal is just 23 years old, but he made an important decision for himself, which made him an example for the community. The decision was highly personal: it was about getting a vasectomy – a very unusual decision in his community. Vasectomy, or male sterilisation, is one of the least-used family planning methods where he lives, and those who have received vasectomies are considered emasculated. Mr. Kumal, who is from a Dalit (untouchable caste) community with 75 households, is probably the first man to get a vasectomy in his community; indeed, the first "unmanly man," in his own community's language.

Mr. Kumal works for a multi-stakeholder forestry program. He listens to his portable radio while he walks, as is his habit. He is a regular listener of many radio programs and knows the presentation style of all the presenters, even doing impersonations of them on demand. Six months previously, he had heard a dramatisation on 'Jiwan Ka Lagi Swasthey' aired on the local FM station. Apart from learning to impersonate the voice actor, he gleaned information he came to apply in his own life.

The dramatisation was about a man who faced a lot of problems as a result of having so many children, and it reminded Mr. Kumal of his mother and how she had suffered during childbirth. His mother bore nine children, three of whom died right after birth. He related to the story and was deeply affected by it. In the dramatisation, however, the character gets a vasectomy and is able to lead a happy life with his small family.

As he listened to the radio dramatisation, Mr. Kumal thought about discussing the idea with his family, but he was afraid they wouldn't understand and would just scorn him as an "unmanly man." Even today, having a large number of children is a sign of masculinity in his village. Instead, he consulted his wife saying "I will get a permanent form of birth control so that you won't have to take Sangini (injectable contraceptives) every three months." In response, his wife merely smiled back at him.

Mr. Kumal loves his wife a lot, perhaps more than most husbands. They fell in love while in grade nine and eloped. After they were married, his wife didn't have the chance to continue her studies, as she was occupied with the responsibilities that come with raising children. He regrets his choice to marry early, and often jokes, "We should have limited our relations to being lovers like the urban kids, instead of having two children so young."

Although he learned about safe sex and family planning at school, he found it difficult to apply it to his own behaviour, never summoning enough courage to buy condoms. He was terrified that if he were seen at the shop, the other villagers would mock him.

Last September, Mr. Kumal finally made his decision and went to see a doctor at the district hospital. The doctor asked him to come back the following Tuesday for the vasectomy. The Monday before his appointment, he stayed the night in a nearby village as part of travel for work. While chatting with the owner of the house he was staying in, Manjit, he learned that Manjit was having a hard time with his six children. He seemed depressed and was having difficulties providing for all six of them. So Mr. Kumar shared his ideas about permanent birth control. Nine hours later, Manjit finally agreed to a vasectomy.

The next morning, both of them went to the hospital for the procedure. Mr. Kumal, you see, not only understood the message of the drama performance he had heard and applied it, but was also inspired to spread the idea for relevant change. Though this is just a small story, the change it has brought is worth appreciating.

Seepkhana is a village located in a very remote area of Kalikot district, where even nowadays, having many children is a matter of familial pride. Mr. Kumal's family is no exception, where his mother had borne nine children. Even today, the village is far from any health services. To buy basic or common medicine such as paracetamol, one must walk five hours to a neighbouring village, Rashkot. Many, like Mr. Kumal, have grown up in this village seeing their sisters and wives dying painfully, suffering throughout their labour.

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Nisha Rai is a Nepalese journalist.