Can shopping be a real addiction?

Women and shopping go hand in hand: this sounds like a cliché. Is this statement a myth, or does it connote an actual reality of today's global, urban culture? A 2006 study found that compulsive buying is a very real phenomenon in the United States and that it splits fairly equally along gender lines: 6% of women and 5.5% of men. While the literature on global trends in obsessive shopping is still growing, there is increasing evidence that overconsumption affects a significant number of shoppers, particularly women, across the world – in Europe, Asia and Africa.

Their numbers are ubiquitously on the rise as this fever has become a global phenomenon. In countries with rapidly growing economies, like China, adult women are famously becoming hooked on shopping and acquiring the latest designer goods. In South and Southeast Asia, this movement is also catching on like wild fire. In Bangladesh and India, women are reportedly working hard to keep up in their search for newly arrived saris and jewels in trendy boutiques and stores. With each day, more and more women have started to believe in the mantra, "shop 'til you drop."

Compulsive shoppers are often called "shopaholics." Their motto is: whatever it is, we want it. They want the latest trendy clothes, designer accessories, or the latest must-have fad – no matter where in the world it comes from, or whatever the cost might be. To the shopaholic, shopping is not a frivolous, fun activity. Their spending sprees, which can get out of hand, create serious financial and emotional distress, for the entire family. It has the potential to create a lethal whirlwind in a household – like a ship getting caught in a sudden storm. Often as a result the entire family suffers for one member's hidden shopping addiction.

Though women have a tendency to spend more on shopping than men – some men can be worse than women. For example, British rock star Sir Elton John has recently admitted that in less than two years, he had spent almost 40M lbs shopping. However, there are major differences in how men and women shop. In 2013, a survey was conducted in Britain of 2000 people, assessing whether men and women shop with the same things in mind. The survey found that women look for a great bargain; they take a long time in choosing a colour, checking out the label, the fibre contents and going in the dressing room to try out the outfit.  After spending about two hours – more often than not they decide to forgo the search, and start it all over again. Men, on the other hand become bored after twenty-six minutes, on average, into their shopping.

Another survey of Britons found that most men do not like shopping with their partners, and many avoid doing so at any cost. Women take a lot of time in selecting an item, whereas a man selects an item within the first few minutes. I have often seen couples argue in a store over a purchase, without realizing that they are creating a scene in a public place for themselves.

Do we ever ask ourselves why do people, particularly women, shop obsessively? Is it a hobby taken too far, or a legitimate disease? Whether it is a woman's own money, family inheritance share, or the money comes from the spousal joint account – a lot of women love to spend money in buying things that they do not need. Shopping nowadays has become as easy as baking an apple pie. There are constant TV commercials, and endless shopping deals that are being offered to the consumers. There is online shopping which is available 24/7, as most women today have access to a PC or an iPad.

Only last week I heard from a friend how one particular store calls her at home to notify her of all the upcoming sales so that she can get the best pick. This kind of marketing strategy is a form of aggression, which more and more stores will adapt in no time. It is a somewhat new trend to deceive a buyer into thinking that she is a very valued customer with a personal phone call. Therefore she feels obligated to buy, even though she is not a compulsive shopper. She usually ends up going to the store and buying things that she or her family may or may not need. Such manipulation on the part of the seller makes a good and trusting consumer duped into charging away.

When an impulsive purchase becomes an obsession of yours– it is the very first sign that you might be grappling with a very serious condition.  Shopaholics are not occasional impulsive buyers. When they are in a department store, they can immediately spot the latest fashion – a watch, maybe jewellery – gleaming in a display case. While checking it out – they are also on the lookout for a pair of perfect black suede shoes that will go with a newly purchased outfit, for Sunday dinner at a friend's house. All the while, they might be cheerfully thinking about how their designer ensemble will add a dash to their sophistication, and how they will be the envy of that group. It is this "high" or the thrill of having material paraphernalia that makes life exciting. The shopaholic lives to feel that experience.

What triggers shopping addiction? Most women who indulge in abnormal shopping sprees try to rationalize their habit as normal behavior. Working women might justify their spending habits as well-deserved special treatment; if no one else is pampering them – that is the least they can do for themselves. It becomes an ego boost. Or, they might say, simply: I earned it, and I have the right to spend it. Single women are another case: they might reason that they need to look sharp, smart and available, and to keep up with ever-changing fashion trends means constant shopping. Otherwise, potential life partners might not pay attention to them. They convince themselves that keeping up with appearances will be a big pay off when they can hook the most eligible bachelors in town. With that possibility on the horizon, they shop to look their best.

Are these our everyday women? Absolutely.

We need to dig a little deeper here, and try to peel away the layers to see what else we can uncover behind shopaholics' unusual spending. Psychologists call this addiction "Compulsive Buying Disorder." The medical term used to describe shopaholics is called "Omnimonia."  This disorder can fall under irrational behavior, and possesses the same characteristics of that of a gambler, drug addict or a binge eater – people who are unable to control a sudden impulse.

Purchasing new items give them an "adrenaline rush," which they live for. According to experts quoted in the Huffington Post, "dopamine, a brain chemical associated with pleasure, is often released in waves as shoppers see a desirable item & consider buying it." Such burst of sudden excitement can become very addictive for a lot of women. The compulsion becomes so intense that they max out their credit cards, get new ones in their names, and are unable to pay the monthly minimum payments and go into huge debt. Very recently I read an article where a woman took out a second mortgage on her home in order to support her shopping addiction. She did all this without consulting her spouse since the house was in her name – a gift from her own parents.

From my experience watching shows and reading about women's stories of shopping addiction, I discovered that each woman's reasons for spending are quite different. There are no set causes. Often each story is sadder than the one before. Compulsive shopping is usually associated with other issues, such as depression, mood disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse problems, loneliness, low self-esteem, job pressure, divorce and relationship issues. They may look for validation from a spouse, boyfriend, friends, or even from co-workers. Wearing a particular designer number makes them feel good, temporarily. If someone is an emotional eater, she can justify that a bowl of double fudge ice-cream makes her feel good. A shopaholic has a thousand different ways to justify her indulgence and why she goes shopping.

At first, shopaholics cover their tracks very well. It might start as buying one pair of designer jeans, the latest purse made by Burberry or Louis Vuitton, or a $575.00 pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. (Most shopaholic women are particularly vulnerable to shoes and designer handbags). Then with time, triggered by the desire to fill some kind of void, or to feel good about oneself, or even a traumatic event, they immerse themselves in material things, without any regard for their finances. Sometimes having a simple argument, originating from the pressures of daily life, can trigger that impulse to go on the Internet to surf their favourite online sites. No matter how hard they try they cannot curb their spending. For years, their spouses or children may not know that they have such problems.

More often than not a shopaholic is under huge psychological pressure to avoid getting caught. Sometimes they bring new items into the house when no one is around, and hide things in their attics or deep in their daughters' closets so that no one can make the discovery.  The shopaholics are often on edge if they cannot swipe their credit cards on a daily basis. If they are unable to shop during the day, at night when everyone is asleep, they sneak out and find a quiet and isolated corner in the home, and go online and order. They may spend countless hours on eBay, betting for a $600 dollar, Italian leather summer sandal in size 7 that they may not even wear.

Shopaholics become very good at rationalizing their behaviour and just about any purchase if they are cornered or challenged. But sooner or later such habits catch up with them. The unsuspecting spouses go through severe shock when they find out, and sometimes declare bankruptcy because they cannot pay the bills that their wives had hiked up without their knowledge. Marriages fall apart, divorce becomes a possibility – couples lose their family homes to the banks. Children suffer because of a rude awakening that the family they knew as theirs is no longer there because of an addict parent. This is as severe as it gets.

Some shopaholics do try to get out of their addiction by going to therapy, while others try to stop over-shopping by joining support groups like "Debtors Anonymous." Some use antidepressants like Prozac to battle this addiction. Now there is a new drug in the US awaiting FDA approval that was made specifically for shopaholics. Some shopaholics in the state of California signed up as volunteers to be guinea pigs for this experimental drug. Others never seek help, and condemn themselves in a life devoid of simple pleasures. They can never get out of the trapped feeling, and live in a self-imposed hell.

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Zeenat Khan is a freelance contributor to bdnews24.com