On happiness

Everyone wants to be happy but few attain it. One reason is that many of us mistake success for happiness. The relationship between success and happiness is murky. There may be a correlation but no causation. One does not "cause" the other, although statistics show that success is more likely to occur at the expense of happiness instead of the other way round. Success is measured mostly in worldly terms – wealth, power, fame, knowledge – while happiness is more elusive, a state of grace sustained by contentment, moderation and purpose.

Given its universal desirability, psychologists, economists and neuroscientists are bringing analytical rigor to the study of happiness. (Currently, one of the hottest fields in developmental economics is happiness research in which economists have introduced the concept of Gross National Happiness (GNH) to at least supplement, if not replace, GNP as a gauge of national progress.) They are testing our beliefs and intuitions about "subjective" happiness with objective tools to gain fresh insight into what makes us happy and what does not.

One of the first insights has to do with the old cliché that money does not buy happiness. True, but how does one quantify it? Based on data collected from almost half a million U.S. citizens, researchers at Princeton found that happiness rises with yearly income until about $75,000, after which it tapers off. (In some areas, the figure is as high as $120,000). In other words, more money beyond a certain threshold does not translate into more happiness. As income rises, so do aspirations. Social scientists have found that as people get rich, they tend to move to richer areas where they don't feel as rich, and so are driven to become richer still. Success reveals latent wants whose upkeep demands more success that brings more wants to the fore. The victim in this endless cycle of rising expectations is happiness.

The late novelists Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller were once enjoying a party hosted by a billionaire hedge fund manager. Vonnegut told Heller that their host made more money in one day than Heller ever made from his classic novel Catch-22. Responded Heller: "True, but I have something he will never have: enough!"

Of course, everyone has a different idea of what is enough. That's where the $75,000 (or $120,000) threshold comes in. (The number is to be understood in an American context but there is a monetary threshold for people in every nation.) After you have reached a certain income bracket, more happiness alights on you only if the additional money is spent on helping others, on friendship and so on – and not in the mindless pursuit of more money and more things. A lack of money for the essentials brings unhappiness, to be sure, but an overabundance of it does not have the opposite effect.

What psychologists have also found is that buying experiences instead of things makes us happier. Traveling is a perfect example. The experience of a new place lasts far longer than acquiring the latest gadget, the fancy car or even the biggest house on the block. One doesn't have to travel to exotic places. "I have traveled a great deal in Concord," wrote Thoreau. A walk in the woods or a trip to the shore near where one lives can leave an indelible impression on the soul. It can make us happier and more creative. On the other hand, empirical evidence shows that a new iPhone, a shiny Mercedes or even an imposing mansion can make us happier but rarely for more than 2-3 months. Once the novelty wears off, it's on to the next fad, the next "must-have" objects of desire.

What this shows is that we often make mistakes in our expectation of what will make us happy and so end up making mistakes in our choices. "What I want, I want mistakenly," wrote Rabindranath Tagore, "and what I get, I don't want."

Although researchers differ in some of the particulars of what constitutes happiness (after all, we live and find happiness in different ways), they agree on the big picture. Control over what we are doing (entrepreneurs, take note!), for instance, makes us happy. So is being connected to others, not in the superficial social network sense but in connections forged through affection and gratitude. A powerful source of happiness, it turns out, is to be a part of something that transcends us, something bigger than ourselves, be it a charity, a cause or belief in the unseen.

Those fortunate to find their aim in life – the only fortune worth finding, as Robert Louis Stevenson observed – find happiness more easily that those who latch onto whatever comes their way. This implies that a purpose-driven life begets more happiness than a drifting one. If we love what we do and if our life reflects our values, we don't need to pursue happiness; happiness will find us. However, happiness does not mean a tranquil life. Life is unpredictable, a rollercoaster ride with inevitable ups and downs. What researchers have found, though, is that in spite of its unpredictability and its inherent tragic nature, life rewards those with bliss whose inner compass keeps them moving steadily in the direction of their dreams and values.

It does not have to be only the sweeping changes we need to make in our lives to be happy. Scientists have found that small, everyday habits and actions can profoundly affect happiness as well. Saying at least one positive thing a day to a loved one, instead of always whining and complaining, can create enduring happiness. Making tea for your spouse, for instance, (Husband: Your wife has been making tea for you every day since she married you decades ago. It's time to switch roles at least twice a week!) and living in a smaller house that allows you to walk to work, instead of in a huge house in the suburbs that requires an hour or more of commute time (in fact, a study shows that the daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting), are also predictors of happiness.

Ultimately, however, the most persistent impediment to happiness turns out to be consumerism, a way of life in which we find meaning and acceptance (we think) through what we consume. This traps us in the work-spend treadmill from which we can rarely break free. In addition to buying experiences, another antidote to consumerism is to under-indulge and to buy more for others than for oneself. A Silicon Valley entrepreneur who became fabulously wealthy found happiness after renouncing materialism and offered this perspective: You can make enough money not to need things, or you can just not need things.

The Muslim tradition holds that the source of happiness is a contented heart, an insight shared by other religions as well. It is a hard advice to live by, given our flawed nature and by the endless temptations of "stuff" surrounding us. We are rarely content with what we have, forever pining for more and yet more. But to be happy requires some deliberate choices. Resisting the lure of material things and living a life of moderation and purpose can make the heart content. That, in turn, can bring happiness within anyone's reach.

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Hasan Zillur Rahim is a technologist and educator working in Silicon Valley, California.